Why Forgive? | Matthew 18:21-35
Series: All!
Jesus has all authority,
So that all nations
Might pledge all allegiance to him.
Title: “Why Forgive?” (Darien Gabriel)
Scripture: Matthew 18:21-35 NIV
Bottom line: We forgive others for their significant offenses against us because he first forgave us for our infinitely significant offenses against him.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
SERMON OUTLINE & NOTES
MAIN REFERENCES USED
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Discussion questions for group and personal study.
Reflect and Discuss
1. What does it mean to become like children in verse 3? What is the difference between having childlike faith and being immature in your faith?
2. How does the requirement of humility in verses 1-4 compare with our culture's view of greatness?
3. Explain how a biblical view of the church goes against a culture that prizes independence?
4. How should the parable of the Lost Sheep in verses 10-14 inform our view of church discipline?
5. Respond to the following objection to church discipline: If our church disciplines members, then unbelievers will be turned off and discouraged from coming.
6. What is the ultimate goal of church discipline?
7. What does Matthew 18 have to add to our view of church membership?
8. List things that should and should not be matters of church discipline.
9. What is the main point of the parable of the Unforgiving Servant (wv. 23-35)?
10. If you aren't showing mercy to others, how might that be an indica tion that you are not being shaped by the gospel?
Final Questions (optional or in place of above)
What is God saying to you right now?
What are you going to do about it?
Find our sermons, podcasts, discussion questions and notes at https://www.gracetoday.net/podcast
Weekly questions I answer in preparation for the sermon:
Q. What do I want you to know?
A. God forgives a sinner’s infinite offense against a holy creator God when they repent and believe in and through Jesus Christ.
Q. Why?
A. Because God is love, he loves his enemies this way. Because one humbly responds to God on his terms by grace through faith.
Q. What do I want you to do?
A. Embrace a perpetual heart attitude of forgiveness. Stop harboring un-forgiveness and forgive one another—those who’ve sinned against you.
Q. Why?
A. Because embracing this attitude reflects the love of God into a needy world.
Total Forgiveness by Nicky Gumbel
Bishop Sandy Millar speaks of a time when he was walking along the beach and he noticed how the sand had been churned up by the footprints of those who had gone before him. The next morning the footprints were all wiped away by the sea. He sensed Jesus saying to him, ‘That is a picture of forgiveness.’
Or to use another analogy, forgiveness from Jesus Christ is like deleting the file of all the bad stuff in our lives.
Forgiveness is never easy. We all know how hard it is to forgive others. However, we often assume that forgiveness from God is almost automatic. On her deathbed, the Empress Catherine the Great of Russia (1729–1796), said, ‘I shall be an autocrat: that’s my trade. The good Lord will forgive me: that’s his.’
OUTLINE & NOTES
Introduction
Bottom line: We forgive others for their significant offenses against us because he first forgave us for our infinitely significant offenses against him.
Refer to “Boomerang Kindness” youtube video https://youtu.be/nwAYpLVyeFU
Potato Famine in Ireland '... BUT' by Nicky Gumbel
During one of the severe potato famines in Ireland, a number of families wrote letters to their landlord saying they had absolutely no money at all to pay their rent and begged to be let off all their debts.
The Irish landlord was Canon Andrew Robert Fausset, born near Enniskillen, County Fermanagh, Ireland, in 1821. Canon Fausset wrote back to his tenants. He said it was quite impossible to let them off their debts. It would set a bad precedent. They had to pay every single penny.
‘*But*,’ he wrote, ‘I enclose something that might help you.’ In contrast to so many of the other landlords at the time, he sent a cheque for a very large sum of money – which far more than covered all their debts.
Their hearts must have leapt with joy when they saw the word ‘*but*’. ‘*But*’ is a powerful word when facing trouble, tests and temptations.
Emmanuel Nine forgiving Dillon Roof—some of them forgave him publicly.
Context
Matt. 18:1–20:34 The Community of the Messiah Revealed.
This is the fourth of Jesus’ five major discourses in Matthew’s Gospel
As his earthly ministry draws to a close, Jesus has spent considerable time clarifying his identity and mission (chs. 14–17).
He instructs his disciples on the nature of his covenant community, explaining the kingdom community’s characteristics (18:1–35),
its implications for the sanctity of marriage (19:1–12), and
its value (19:13–20:34). ESV Study Bible note
What’s important to remember about this context is that Jesus is dealing with how local believers interact with each other. They pursue wandering brothers and sisters in Christ. They lovingly confront sinful behavior. This is different than confronting someone in the world outside of the church.
I. Q&A (18:21-22)
A. The Question: How many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? (18:21)
Peter knows rabbi’s taught 3x
Peter suggests 7x
B. The Answer: Every time. (18:22)
Jesus answers leveraging 7 into infinity.
Jesus continues with another kingdom parable
II. Parable of unmerciful or unforgiving servant. (18:23-34)
A. First servant. (18:23-27)
An insurmountable debt owed.
Millions or billions. Some have said it essentially means an insurmountable amount of debt for anyone.
An extravagant mercy given.
Note
It wasn’t easy. It costs us. It cost Jesus the cross. It will cost us too. That’s what Jesus means when he says, “If anyone come after me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23
Gumbel wrote,
“We do not earn our forgiveness; Jesus achieved that for you on the cross.
But your willingness to forgive is evidence that you know God’s forgiveness.
Forgiven people forgive.
All of us have been forgiven so much by God that we must keep on forgiving the comparatively small offences committed against us.”
It wasn’t natural. C.S. Lewis wrote: ‘Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.’
The servant didn’t deserve it.
He didn’t feel like it but was moved by love.
He didn’t all of a sudden trust the guy with more money.
Yet, motivated by compassion/mercy/love, he forgave.
Nicky Gumbel wrote, “Forgiveness is not easy. The cross reminds us how costly and painful it is. Forgiveness does not mean approving of what the other person did, nor excusing it, nor denying it, nor pretending that you are not hurt. Rather, you are aware of what the other person has done and yet you are called to forgive. In your personal relationships lay aside all malice, revenge and retribution and show mercy and grace to the person who has hurt you.”
B. Second servant. (18:28-34)
A challenging debt owed.
Ten thousand dollars?
Significant, yes.
Insignificant in light of the millions and billions he owed and was forgiven of
An unbelievable lack of mercy given.
Revealed a lack of comprehension for the mercy he’d received.
Revealed a heart unwilling to give what he’d received.
Note
It wasn’t easy. He wasn’t willing to pay anything.
It wasn’t natural. C.S. Lewis wrote: ‘Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.’
The servant didn’t deserve it.
He didn’t feel like it and was NOT moved by love.
He didn’t all of a sudden trust the guy as seen in imprisoning him.
Not motivated by compassion/mercy/love, he DID NOT forgive.
Conclusion
Ultimately first servant loses benefit of being forgiven forever.
When we don’t forgive, we show we have the same attitude of the heart.
III. Final word. (18:35)
A. Your mercy or lack of mercy reveals your spiritual position with the Lord. God will judge you accordingly—with justice, not mercy.
Matthew 6:14-15
Forgiving others is evidence you’ve truly been forgiven and born again.
Not forgiving others is evidence you’ve not been forgiven and not born again.
James 2:13 “…because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment.”
B. Solution: Humble yourself before a holy almighty God and repent of your sins and surrender your life to him today. This is THE way.
Conclusion
Emanuel Nine forgiving Dillon Roof for murdering their loved ones in their church motivated by racism.
Our bottom line today is
Bottom line: We forgive others for their significant offenses against us because he first forgave us for our infinitely significant offenses against him.
Application:
Remember: God forgave us for our infinitely significant offense against a holy God.
In response: We appropriately forgive all others every time for their significant offenses against us.
What is God saying to you right now?
Let’s pray.
David Platt’s notes
We Forgive One Another (18:21-35)
The context for Matthew 18 is how we as Christians treat one another when they sin against us.
Last exhortation in Matthew 18 is to forgive our brothers and sisters in Christ when they sin against us. This is a continuation from church discipline.
In those days, rabbis encouraged people to forgive a brother for repeated sin up to 3 times, after which there would be no forgiveness. So Peter decides to ask if 7 times would be enough, thinking he was greatly exceeding Jesus’ standard. Jesus responds with 70 X 7 times. Jesus follows this with an extreme example in the form of a parable. The parable is about a man who owes the king millions if not billions of dollars and cannot come close to paying it back. Yet the king motivated by mercy forgives the debt completely and sends the man away displaying amazing mercy and grace.
A number of takeaways:
In Christ, we have received extravagant grace.
There is no price tag we could ever put on our sinfulness before an infinitely holy God.
“When you and I think, ‘Well, I haven’t sinned as much as this person or that person,,’ we show that we have no clue as to the extent of our own sin. Our debt is deep—infinitely deep.” P. 246
“But Christ has paid it.” Motivated by compassion the Father sent his Son Jesus to the cross to free us—from sin’s penalty to be not just his servant but his son.
Freed from the penalty of sin (justification).
Freed from the power of sin (sanctification).
Freed from the presence of sin one day (glorification).
As Christians, we now extend extravagant grace.
How harsh it is for a man forgiven so much to then send someone that owes him a tiny fraction as much to prison.
“Yet for a Christian not to forgive is to do the exact same thing.”
Not saying it’s easy to forgive.
Not saying it’s natural to forgive.
Am saying it’s Christ-like to forgive. As Christians, we have no other option.
“We forgive not because we have to, but because in love we are compelled to.”
“Only Jesus can enable the kind of forgiving heart this passage calls for.”
“This kind of forgiveness should characterize the church.”
In sum: Stop harboring sin and forgive those who’ve sinned against you.
Douglass Sean O’Donnell’s notes
The Heart of Perfect Forgiveness
Peter asks his question on the heals of hearing about church discipline. He wants to know how many times he must forgive the one who sins against him and he knows it must be more than what the Jewish rabbis say, which is 3x based on some verses in Amos.
Jesus responds to Peter’s ambitious response of more than doubling the rabbis’ take with a more unrealistic number—every time.
70X, 70 X 7, 77X whatever—using this number that represents perfection, Jesus is saying every time. Limitless number of times. You don’t get to the 491st time and stop forgiving them because they’ve exceeded their allotted number of forgiveness chips.
Of course, as we saw last week, the church has the authority to forgive (keep in fellowship) and not forgive (remove from the fellowship) when one is unwilling to repent of their sin. That’s why the church has the authority to “bind”. God and his church are to hold the guilty accountable. Those who do not cut off sin are in turn cut off from the fellowship God calls to be holy.
“What Jesus says in 18:22 is that Christians must forgive other Christians who ask for forgiveness and must forgive them (if needed) over and over.” P. 522
Will we sin 490 times?
It’s safe to say we sin once a day (at least), I think.
365 days/year x 1 sin/day x 57 years (my age) = 20,805 sins so far
I mean we sin 490 times every 16 months at this rate. (And I think we sin much more than this)
Through Christ, God doesn’t keep count. So don’t keep count.
Unless you don’t know Christ. Then know that he’s keeping count whether you are or not. In fact, he has a book with each one written down. Every idle word you’ve spoken is written. Every social media post you’ve responded to or posted—recorded. He knows every thought you’ve had that never left your brain. Accountable. You’re accountable for every one.
This is why we need his forgiveness. Extravagant forgiveness.
And as Christ has forgiven us over and over again, we’re to forgive each other over and over again. It’s that simple. Not easy—but clearly what we should do.
The Question of Chapter 18
"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" Matthew 18:1
The rest of the chapter is a response to that question.
--God's Search and Rescue Plan: Church Discipline by David V. Edling, p. 6
From John Stott wrote in "Christian Counter-culture":
"The addition of the words as we also have forgiven our debtors is further emphasized in verses 14 and 15 which follow the prayer and state that our Father will forgive us if we forgive others but will not forgive us if we refuse to forgive others. This certainly does not mean that our forgiveness of others earns us the right to be forgiven. It is rather that God forgives only the penitent and that one of the chief evidences of true penitence is a forgiving spirit. Once our eyes have been opened to see the enormity of our offence against God, the injuries which others have done to us appear by comparison extremely triffling. If, on the other hand, we have an exaggerated view of the offences of others, it proves that we have minimized our own. It is the disparity between the size of debts which is the main point of the parable of the unmerciful servant. It's conclusion is: 'I forgave you all that debt (which was huge)...; should you not have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?'" pp. 149-150
Matthew 18:10-35, Nicky Gumbel
Understand the relationship between human freedom and suffering
God loves you. Love is not love if it is forced; it can only be love if there is a real choice. God gave human beings a choice and the freedom to love or not to love. So much suffering is caused by us choosing not to love God or others: ‘The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods’ (Psalm 16:4).
However, Jesus expressly repudiates the automatic link between sin and suffering (John 9:1–3). He also points out that natural disasters are not necessarily a form of punishment from God (Luke 13:1–5). But some suffering is a direct result either of our own sin or the sin of others. In this passage we see three examples:
Wandering away
Jesus speaks about a sheep that ‘wanders away’ (Matthew 18:12). When we wander away from the protection of The Shepherd we become vulnerable. But God will never stop searching for us because he ‘is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost’ (v.14).
Sin of others
Jesus says, ‘If your brother or sister sins against you’ (v.15). So much suffering in the world is the result of other people’s sin – both at a global and community level, and also at an individual one. In this passage, Jesus sets out a way of reconciliation.
He calls his disciples to unlimited forgiveness. Jesus says that when people sin against us we are to forgive them – not just seven times, but seventy-seven times (vv.21–22). (Or 70 x 7)
Forgiveness is not easy. The cross reminds us how costly and painful it is. Forgiveness does not mean approving of what the other person did, nor excusing it, nor denying it, nor pretending that you are not hurt. Rather, you are aware of what the other person has done and yet you are called to forgive. In your personal relationships lay aside all malice, revenge and retribution and show mercy and grace to the person who has hurt you.
Unforgiveness
Sometimes forgiving can be extremely hard. As C.S. Lewis wrote: ‘Everyone thinks forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.’
In the final parable, we can see the destructive nature of unforgiveness. The first servant’s unwillingness to forgive a comparatively minor debt (around three-and-a-half month’s wages compared to around 160,000 years’ wages for an average person) destroys his relationship with the other servants, and leads to the second servant being cast into prison. So often unforgiveness destroys relationships between people, and results in them lashing out against those they think have sinned against them. We see the results of this in marriage breakdowns, broken relationships, or in conflicts between different communities.
We do not earn our forgiveness; Jesus achieved that for you on the cross. But your willingness to forgive is evidence that you know God’s forgiveness. Forgiven people forgive. All of us have been forgiven so much by God that we must keep on forgiving the comparatively small offences committed against us.
I’m so thankful that God does not put a limit on how often he forgives me. Yet when I look at others I am tempted to think, ‘I’m happy to forgive once, or even twice, but if they keep on doing this surely I’m not expected to keep on forgiving.’
Cultivate in your heart the same attitude towards others as God has towards you.
Lord, help me to use my freedom to love, to search for the lost and to have mercy. Help me not to cause suffering but rather to give my life, following the example of Jesus, for the relief of suffering.
MAIN REFERENCES USED
“Preaching the Word” Commentary, Douglas Sean O’Donnell, Edited by Kent Hughes
“Matthew” by RC Sproul
“The Bible Knowledge Commentary” by Walvoord, Zuck (BKC)
“The Bible Exposition Commentary” by Warren Wiersbe (BEC)
“Exalting Jesus in Matthew” by David Platt (CCE)
Outline Bible, D Willmington
NIV Study Bible (NIVSB)
ESV Study Bible (ESVSB)
God's Search and Rescue Plan: Church Discipline by David V. Edling