How to Live With an Unbelieving Spouse | 1 Peter 3:1-7

Series: A living Hope in a dying world

Title: How to live with an unbelieving spouse

Scripture: 1 Peter 3:1-7, Genesis 18-9-12 NIV

Bottom line: We live to win an unbelieving spouse resting in hope, belonging/holiness, good deeds, courage, so we can submit to them.

SERMON OUTLINE
NOTES
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
OUTLINES
MAIN REFERENCES USED

SERMON OUTLINE

Introduction

St. Augustine’s mother and father

“IN THE YEAR AD 397 an aging saint in the Christian faith wrote what would become one of the most compelling autobiographies ever published. When the book was finally finished, he titled his own tale The Confessions of Saint Augustine. Buried in this celebrated narrative is the moving tribute Augustine gave his mother, Monica, on the influence she had in bringing her unbelieving husband, Patricius, to personal faith in Jesus. Augustine described his mother's role with these words:

She served her husband as her master, and did all she could to win him for You, speaking to him of You by her conduct, by which You made her beautiful…

Finally, when her husband was at the end of his earthly span,

she gained him for You.!

It doesn't take much for us to envision Augustine's mother, hard-pressed for years in a difficult marriage, looking for strength to go on in the quiet words and understated promises of 1 Peter 3:1, 2. Perhaps she even had them committed to memory:

Likewise, wives, be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.” -Helms

This illustrates what Peter is going for in today’s passage.

Outline (based on the Outline Bible)

1 PETER 3—Peter talks about appropriate conduct for believers in light of what Christ has done for us.

Bottom line: We live to win an unbelieving spouse resting in hope, belonging/holiness, good deeds, courage, so we can submit to them.

I. THE CONDUCT OF BELIEVERS, as exiles and foreigners just passing through. (3:1-17)

A. Responsibilities of wives (3:1-6)

1. Peter's exhortation (3:1-5)

a. Concerning their behavior (3:1-2): Wives should depend upon their lives more than their lips in witnessing to unsaved husbands.

b. Concerning their beauty (3:3-5): Inner beauty is far more important than outer beauty.

It’s worth a lot more to God than outer beauty.
It’s made up of a quiet and gentle spirit.

Not weakness
Not based on personality

2. Peter's example (36): He uses Sarah of the Old Testament as a role model.

B. Responsibilities of husbands (3:7)

1. What they are to do (3:7a): Husbands must be considerate of their wives and respect them.

Based on what they know about God.
Based on what they know about their wives.
As the “weaker partner”, there’s no room for violence or physical abuse.
They are equal in value in God’s eyes.
They have the same inheritance coming from God’s gifts.

2. Why they are to do it (3:7b): If they fail here, their prayers will not be answered.

C. Rationale of the one who is willing submit:

Based on the living hope found in 1:3-4
Belonging to God’s family as he’s set them apart from the world to holy living.
Setting them up to live “such good lives” that the lost see them and though they disagree with you they praise your God
Emboldening them with courage from on high to live this way
Submitting willingly to their husband with the aim of winning him to Christ Jesus. Note: this is for any husband really.

Piper shows how a wife submits to her unbelieving husband:

She rests in the hope of God

She remembers she belongs to God (holiness calls apart from the world to God)

She lives courageously in the face of fear

She conducts her life with good deeds

She submits to her husband as she gladly submits to God

Conclusion

Bottom line: We live to win an unbelieving spouse resting in hope, belonging/holiness, good deeds, courage, so we can submit to them.

WHAT A WIFE'S SUBMISSION IS NOT (Piper)

1. It is not agreeing with the husband on all important matters. 3:1

2. It is not leaving the brain at the altar. 3: 1ff.

3. It is not avoiding the effort to change her husband. 3:1

4. It is not putting the will of the husband before the will of Christ. 3:1

5. It is not getting all her spiritual strength through the husband. 3.5

6. It is not acting in fear. 3:6

WHAT A WIFE'S SUBMISSION IS (Piper)

Submission is the divine calling of a

wife to joyfully and fearlessly honor and affirm her husband's leadership, and to

help carry it through according to her gifts.

What about husbands? This works for them too.

What about those who might marry? This warns them to choose wisely.

What about those who have friends who are tempted to divorce? Hopefully, this keeps us from recommending divorce so quickly.

What is God most concerned with here? The lost finding salvation.

As I prepared this message, I realized that my wife did this in my life when we were dating.

I wasn’t a believer (but thought I was) when we dated in high school. We were friends all through high school and I pursued her throughout those years. We finally started dating our senior year and dated into our freshman year in college.

Not only did I pick her out of a room full of girls skating one Friday night because I thought the was the prettiest but she ultimately won me over through her inner beauty of faith in Christ. I ended up coming to Christ my freshman year in college. We married right after I graduated.

God works through our apologetic of life as we embody the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This preaches way more loudly than our words because it illustrates our convictions. This is why Peter exhorts wives to live this way before their unbelieving husbands.

Pray

NOTES

Another possible bottom line: Be willing to suffer in the here and now so that others won’t suffer in the hereafter.

In 1 Peter 3:7, when Peter refers to the wife as the "weaker partner," it's often interpreted as a reference to physical or societal vulnerability rather than indicating inferiority. Peter encourages husbands to show honor and understanding to their wives, recognizing their equal spiritual standing but acknowledging the historical and cultural context in which women may have faced societal challenges. It's important to consider the cultural and historical background when interpreting such texts.

"Respect" refers to a positive regard for the feelings, rights, and opinions of oneself and others, acknowledging and valuing each individual's worth and dignity.

"Considerate" describes someone who is thoughtful, showing concern for others' feelings, needs, or well-being.

Part 1

https://www.desiringgod.org/labs/to-wives-with-unbelieving-husbands

Parts 2-5 follow

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Discovery Bible Study process:

Retell the story in your own words.
Discovery the story

What does this story tell me about God?
What does this story tell me about people?
If this is really God’s word, what changes would I have to make in my life?

Who am I going to tell about this?

Final Questions (optional or in place of above)

What is God saying to you right now?
What are you going to do about it?

Find our sermons, podcasts, discussion questions and notes at https://www.gracetoday.net/podcast

Q. What do I want them to know?

A. God calls us to suffer injustice, sometimes.

Q. Why do I want them to know it?

A. So that we illustrate and embody the message of hope through Christ.

Q. What do I want them to do about it?

A. Be willing to suffer in the here-and-now so that others won’t suffer in the hereafter. This is best seen in the cross of Christ. It’s what Jesus means when he tells us to deny ourself, take up our cross, and follow him.

Q. Why do I want them to do it?

A. Because this matters so much to God. And it should matter to us. It’s why we’re still here.

Q. How can they begin to do this?

A. Pray for God to help us rest in his living hope, believe we belong in this holy family, living such a godly life, emboldened with courage from above, so that we can submit ourselves in such a way that we point people to Jesus Christ.

MAIN REFERENCES USED

“1 - 2 Peter and Jude,” by David Helm, Preaching the Word Commentary, Edited by Kent Hughes

“1 & 2 Peter ” by RC Sproul

“1 & 2 Peter and Jude” by Thomas Schreiner

“The Message of 1 Peter” by Edmund Clowney

“Look at the Book” by John Piper

“The Visual Word,” Patrick Schreiner

“1 Peter: A living hope in Christ”, Jen Wilkin Bible study

“The Bible Knowledge Commentary” by Walvoord, Zuck (BKC)

“The Bible Exposition Commentary” by Warren Wiersbe (BEC)

Outline Bible, D Willmington

NIV Study Bible (NIVSB) https://www.biblica.com/resources/scholar-notes/niv-study-bible/