How to Practice Church Discipline | Matthew 18:15-20
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How to Practice Church Discipline | Matthew 18:15-20
Series: All!
Jesus has all authority,
So that all nations
Might pledge all allegiance to him.
Title: “How to Practice Church Discipline” (Darien Gabriel)
Scripture: Matthew 18:15-20 NIV
Heavily relied on O’Donnell for this one. (See below)
Bottom line: We all practice church discipline by lovingly confronting those who sin against us (per Matthew 18) with the aim of restoring the relationship.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
SERMON OUTLINE & NOTES
MAIN REFERENCES USED
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Discussion questions for group and personal study.
Reflect and Discuss
1. What does it mean to become like children in verse 3? What is the difference between having childlike faith and being immature in your faith?
2. How does the requirement of humility in verses 1-4 compare with our culture's view of greatness?
3. Explain how a biblical view of the church goes against a culture that prizes independence?
4. How should the parable of the Lost Sheep in verses 10-14 inform our view of church discipline?
5. Respond to the following objection to church discipline: If our church disciplines members, then unbelievers will be turned off and discouraged from coming.
6. What is the ultimate goal of church discipline?
7. What does Matthew 18 have to add to our view of church membership?
8. List things that should and should not be matters of church discipline.
9. What is the main point of the parable of the Unforgiving Servant (wv. 23-35)?
10. If you aren't showing mercy to others, how might that be an indica tion that you are not being shaped by the gospel?
Final Questions (optional or in place of above)
What is God saying to you right now?
What are you going to do about it?
Find our sermons, podcasts, discussion questions and notes at https://www.gracetoday.net/podcast
Weekly questions I answer in preparation for the sermon:
Q. What do I want you to know?
A. How to practice church discipline
Q. Why?
A. Because it leads to a holier and healthier church family
Q. What do I want you to do?
A. Practice church discipline/confrontation per Matthew 18
Q. Why?
A. Because these steps lead to a holier, healthier church family.
OUTLINE & NOTES
Our oldest grandson is almost 2-1/2 years old. He trusts his parents and grandparents right now. He has an implicit faith in us. When we tell him something, he just believes us. You might call him innocent. He is not! You might call him naive. But for now he trusts us implicitly and humbly. He just knows he doesn’t know near as much as we do.
This is what I think Jesus was trying to communicate to his 12 earlier here. To know that you’re a son off the king, you must humble yourself and turn and become like a 2-3 yr old trusting your Heavenly Father in all he says.
Context
Matt. 18:1–20:34 The Community of the Messiah Revealed.
This is the fourth of Jesus’ five major discourses in Matthew’s Gospel
As his earthly ministry draws to a close, Jesus has spent considerable time clarifying his identity and mission (chs. 14–17).
He instructs his disciples on the nature of his covenant community, explaining the kingdom community’s characteristics (18:1–35),
its implications for the sanctity of marriage (19:1–12), and
its value (19:13–20:34). ESV Study Bible note
What’s important to remember about this context is that Jesus is dealing with how local believers interact with each other. They pursue wandering brothers and sisters in Christ. They lovingly confront sinful behavior. This is different than confronting someone in the world outside of the church.
Introduction
Bottom line: We all practice church discipline by lovingly confronting those who sin against us (per Matthew 18) with the aim of restoring the relationship.
Church discipline is the act of lovingly confronting one who sins against us so that they humbly respond with repentance restoring their relationship with us and the Lord.
How do we do this?
First, Why confront?
My notes after reading O’Donnell
Have you ever been legitimately confronted over something you did wrong? Or sin?
It’s a humbling experience. Makes you feel small.
“But small, as we learned (earlier in Matthew 18), is the appropriate size to get into the kingdom as well as move up in it. Thus, if confrontation can lead to that kind of smallness, it is something we all, from time to time, very well need.” P. 509
Why confront?
This passage is about how the church (the people) confronts the one who sins against them. But before we tackle how, let’s understand why we even do it.
Most churches want to do this as much as a parent wants to spank a child in the Super Walmart. It’s hard form some to hear that a church can excommunicate someone. It sounds harsh, judgmental, unloving and so against the spirit of the age. This is why we start with why?
4 reasons one Christian confronts another:
1 from our passage and
3 from the surrounding context
The first reason for Christian confrontation is the value of one straying sheep.
Notice how Jesus moves from his parable of the lost sheep directly to this. Matthew inserts nothing in between. Presumably, Jesus does not stop talking in between.
From: Sheep—how God values each individual Christian, even and especially strayed sheep
To: This
Why? Because they are thematically linked.
The Father’s concern for sinners and the Shepherd’s rescue of those who’ve wandered from the fold are now the church’s concern.
The Church confronts because we value each and every sheep, even and especially straying sheep.
The second reason for Christian confrontation is the hope of forgiveness and family reconciliation.
Immediate context: Theme is the forgiveness of a brother’s sin.
Note “Brother” is generic for Christian but is also familial language. He could have used “disciple”
Family reconciliations are the best. Think of the prodigal son. (Luke 15)
The third reason for Christian confrontation is, a little laxity leads to a lot of lapsing.
Paul said, “a little leaven leaven’s the whole lump.” 1 Cor 5:6
A little leaven (neglected sin in the church) leaven’s the whole lump (affects whole church)
A little laxity (let this or that sin go unchecked) leads to a lot of lapsing (I guess if he does that, I can do this)
Cutting off sin (18:8-9) “That by guarding our own personal holiness we guard others, especially those weaker in the faith” p. 511
Ex. “Newly baptized Christian sees an elder in the church sinning, and that elder is not confronted and corrected by the church, then the younger Christian will likely be tempted to similarly sin.” p. 511
“Christian confrontation helps protect and purify the church (like salt), and it helps prevent the spread of sin throughout the Body of Christ.”
The fourth reason for Christian confrontation is that it is a command of Christ…because Jesus is Lord.”
Reproof and love go together.
“Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in their guilt. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” Lev 19:17-18
Tolerating sin is not loving.
Because God loves, God disciplines.
It’s the loving shepherd who goes after the lost sheep.
The unloving shepherd stays at home
He’s either indifferent (what’s 1 out of 100), or
He’s lenient (oh, sheep will be sheep)
So, Christians are to confront sinning Christians because
We value one straying sheep
We hope for forgiveness and family reconciliation
We know that a little laxity leads to a lot of lapsing, and
Christian confrontation is a loving command from the most loving man who ever lived.
Then, How confront?
3 Strikes and You’re Out (Quick and dirty)
Confront one on one.
If they listen, you’ve won them over. It’s over.
If they don’t, proceed to step two.
Confront with 2-3 witnesses.
If they listen, you’ve won them over. It’s over.
If they don’t, proceed to step three.
Confront with the church.
If they listen, you’ve won them over. It’s over.
If they don’t, you expel them from the church and treat them as a non-Christian.
More detailed outline…
How to Lovingly Confront—3 Steps (O’Donnell)
Go and win (gain)
First, 3 important details
Notice who is confronting whom—it’s brother to brother…
Not brother to person in the world.
There’s a time for that—this isn’t about that.
Notice when this occurs—only “if your brother sins against you.” (In ESV text; footnoted in NIV)
Just between you and him alone (if have “against you” personally as in ESV)
And it is “sin”, behavior that is clearly and consistently contrary to Christ’s commands
This is not bad personality traits or poor hygiene
Notice (speaking on sin) that Jesus assumes Christians will sin
Step 1: Go and win (Gain) PRIVATE CORRECTION / LOVING CONFRONTATION
First step is not…
To wait
To sit and sulk
To give a cold shoulder or silent treatment
Indifference
Tit for tat
To gossip
To slander
Rather, step 1 is a private conversation—underline “just between the two of you” (15)
Gently and/or
With holy harshness
Nathan modeled this in a balanced way with King David (2 Sam 12:1-7)
Paul throughout his ministry; Gal 2:11 I opposed Peter to his face
Jesus showed holy harshness in 18:8-9
Regardless, the spirit is that of humility and love, a solemn concern for your brother’s soul
So we go hoping to win i.e. restore, gain to God and to fellowship with the church
Hoping to bring light to their darkness. If he sees this darkness, confesses it, asks for forgiveness, you’re won or gained your brother
Step 2: Establish Testimony (evidence) SMALL GROUP CLARIFICATION
Jesus is practical
Jesus is also realistic. Most of us get defensive when confronted.
Why? Because we’re proud. Instead of melting like butter, we harden like clay.
“Jesus’ lesson on becoming like little children applies well here as well. Humility is needed! and such humility is helped along by bringing others to hear the case.” P. 516
2 or 3 others/witnesses comes from Deut 19:15. Why?
To protect against a false accusation—brother B is exaggerating or lying about brother A’s offense.
To help brother A, if he’s been rightly accused, to see his sin as sin, or in other words, to add their voice of reproof so he might repent, and
To be public witnesses, if needed, if the matter comes to the whole church (2 Cor 13:1; 1 Tim 5:19)
Step 3: Church Censure CHURCH ADMONITION & POSSIBLY EXCOMMUNICATION
A censure is an official reprimand and judgment. Here it is the church saying, “3 strikes and your out—you’ve been excommunicated from the fellowship.”p. 516
First, let’s be clear on who is to blame here—it’s the unrepentant brother—he has refused to “listen”
This text isn’t just how to confront—it’s how to respond to confrontation
3 Strikes and you’re out
“If a sinner won’t cut off his sin, the church cuts him off.” V. 17
That is, treat him like someone who has betrayed the covenant (like a traitor tax collector) and someone who does not currently believe in the covenant (gentile or pagan); their actions move leaders to declare that they are not a follower of Christ
In NT, excommunication meant not allowing this unrepentant “brother” to participate in the public gatherings—
A worship service
Lord’s Supper
Prayer meeting
A judicial meeting
For some, this is the limited version
For others, it was unlimited restriction:
“If any false teacher ‘comes to you…do not receive him into your home or give him any greeting’” (2 John 10)
“As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice (i.e. Matthew 18:15-17), have nothing to do with him.” (Titus 3:10)
“[Do] not …associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is justly or sexually immoral or greedy, or is an idolater, reviled, drunkard, or swindler”—[Do] not even eat with such a one.” (1 Cor 5:11)
“Yet for both—with limited and unlimited restriction—the hope was held out that this ‘severe measure’ would make the sinner come to his senses, that this ‘brother’ would act like a brother should —repent and return.” P. 517
1 Cor 5-6
2 Thess 3:14-15
Coming out of 15-17, Jesus masterfully assumes there will be pushback. “Says who?” AUTHORITY
“You see, when a brother or sister is excommunicated, before they leave (and/or sue) the disciplining church and go to another, they will nearly always reply to the disciplining church, ‘You’re not God. Who gives you the right?’ And to that objection our Lord leaves his church 18-20, his gentle way of saying ‘shut it’” pp. 517-18
“These verses are not about the value of prayer meetings.”
“Rather, these verses are about Jesus giving his divine authority to forgive sins (or loose) or not forgive (to bind) into the hands of the church.” P. 518
“If the local church gathers together in the name of Christ—even two or three—to judge another brother (that’s the context, v. 17 esp.), then what these brothers decide on earth is decided (already) in heaven. Why? Jesus’ answer is, ‘Because I say so’…It’s a matter of transference of authority.” P. 518
“The church has been given the authority to forgive (receive back into fellowship) or excommunicate (remove from fellowship). This is how we use the keys to the kingdom.
Conclusion
Our bottom line today is that we all practice church discipline by lovingly confronting those who’ve sinned against us with the aim of restoring the relationship.
Are you ever confronting sin?
When you do, do you do so with humility and love and the aim to restore the relationship?
Is someone confronting you?
Are you responding with humility and repentance?
Is the Lord challenging you to join your local church?
What is God saying to you right now?
Let’s pray.
Church discipline -various levels by warren wiersbe
“Various levels of church discipline
Personal differences between Christians (Matt. 18:15–18; Phil. 4:1–3).
If a brother or sister sins against me (either deliberately or unknowingly), I should go to that person privately and seek to get the matter settled. Only if the person refuses to settle the matter should I bring anyone else in; and the problem must not go to the church family until every other means has been exhausted.
Doctrinal error.
Determine first of all why the person is teaching wrong doctrine. Perhaps it is because of ignorance and lack of Bible knowledge. In that case, patiently teach him the truth (2 Tim. 2:23–26). If he persists, rebuke him (Titus 1:10–14). Paul had to do this to Peter (Gal. 2:11ff). If the error continues, avoid him (Rom. 16:17–18), and then separate yourself from him (2 Tim. 2:18ff; 2 John 9ff).
A believer overtaken by sin (Gal. 6:1–3).
Even the great Apostle Peter denied the Lord. And David yielded to lust and committed adultery. When a Christian is caught in known sin, the spiritual members of the church must seek to restore him with gentleness and love. The word restore here means “to set a broken bone”—and that takes tenderness and patience. Too often the church quickly passes judgment on a believer who has sinned, and the damage done causes problems for years to come.
A repeating troublemaker (Titus 3:10).
The word heretic does not refer to doctrinal error, but to a proud attitude of one who gets people to “take sides” in the church. The Greek word means “to make a choice.” This leads to divisions and cliques in the local church (see Gal. 5:20 where heresies ought to be translated “sects, parties”). There is hardly a church that does not have its parties for or against anything—the pastor, the building program, even the color of the kitchen walls. Usually these “heretics” are people who like to be important; they want a following. Often they have deep emotional problems that Satan can use to create spiritual problems in the church. Perhaps they are frustrated at home or on the job; or perhaps they have, in the past, been hurt by some pastor or church.
These “factious people” should be given two official warnings. If they repeat their sin of dividing the church, they should be given a third warning and rejected. “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned” (Titus 3:10–11, niv).
It is my conviction that such people should not hold office in the church. It is also my conviction that, if they leave the church “in a conviction that, if they leave the church “in a huff,” they should be restored to fellowship only twice. The third time—they are out!
Open immorality (1 Cor. 5).
The church must mourn over the sinner (the same word is used for mourning over the dead) and seek to bring him to repentance. If he refuses, the church collectively should dismiss him (1 Cor. 5:13, where the Greek word means “expel”). If he repents, he must be forgiven and restored to fellowship in the church (2 Cor. 2:6–11).
In the case of the “lazy saints,” Paul told the believers to exhort them, warn them, and if they did not repent, withdraw intimate fellowship from them. This probably meant that these believers were not permitted to share in the Lord’s Supper, and that the church members would not invite them to their homes. Second Thessalonians 3:14 does not apply to every case of discipline. It applies only to the matter of saints not working for a living.
“Have no company” literally means “do not get mixed up with”; the same word is used in 1 Corinthians 5:9. There is a difference between acquaintanceship, friendship, and fellowship; for fellowship means “to have in common.” For obedient saints to treat disobedient Christians with the same friendship they show to other dedicated saints is to give approval to their sins.
However, Paul (knowing the tendency of human nature to go to extremes) cautioned them not to treat the offenders like enemies. “They are still your brothers in Christ,” he added. Lot was out of fellowship with God and Abraham because he lived in Sodom; yet Abraham rescued Lot from the enemy because Lot was his brother (Gen. 14, and note especially v. 14). It requires much patience, love, and grace to help an erring brother; and this is why Paul added a final motive for earning a living.”
Church Discipline by Warren Wiersbe
The Question of Chapter 18
"At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" Matthew 18:1
The rest of the chapter is a response to that question.
--God's Search and Rescue Plan: Church Discipline by David V. Edling, p. 6
From John Stott wrote in "Christian Counter-culture":
"The addition of the words as we also have forgiven our debtors is further emphasized in verses 14 and 15 which follow the prayer and state that our Father will forgive us if we forgive others but will not forgive us if we refuse to forgive others. This certainly does not mean that our forgiveness of others earns us the right to be forgiven. It is rather that God forgives only the penitent and that one of the chief evidences of true penitence is a forgiving spirit. Once our eyes have been opened to see the enormity of our offence against God, the injuries which others have done to us appear by comparison extremely triffling. If, on the other hand, we have an exaggerated view of the offences of others, it proves that we have minimized our own. It is the disparity between the size of debts which is the main point of the parable of the unmerciful servant. It's conclusion is: 'I forgave you all that debt (which was huge)...; should you not have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?'" pp. 149-150
MAIN REFERENCES USED
“Preaching the Word” Commentary, Douglas Sean O’Donnell, Edited by Kent Hughes
“Matthew” by RC Sproul
“The Bible Knowledge Commentary” by Walvoord, Zuck (BKC)
“The Bible Exposition Commentary” by Warren Wiersbe (BEC)
“Exalting Jesus in Matthew” by David Platt (CCE)
Outline Bible, D Willmington
NIV Study Bible (NIVSB)
ESV Study Bible (ESVSB)
God's Search and Rescue Plan: Church Discipline by David V. Edling